It sounds cheesy, but the process used by “Rational Recovery” to get people off booze and drugs works really well for kicking all kinds of bad habits. (It’s not as good at getting you to do something, such as go running.)

I use the public domain version of their idea, which can be reduced down to CORE: Commit, Objectify, Respond, Enjoy.

You Commit to giving up the bad habit. (They say to do it just to yourself, but I find it’s far more effective if you tell others, too. That outside accountability helps.)

When you find yourself craving it, you realize that it’s not really the rational “you” that wants the bad thing. It’s a base part of your brain that you need to control. You turn “you” want it into “it” wants it, objectifying the craving and turning it into an unwelcome intruder in your thoughts.

You Respond to the intruder, by saying “No. I’m in charge, buddy, not you.” You reassert your rational, planning self’s dominance over your desires.

And you make sure to Enjoy your lifestyle— the increased sense of well-being and mastery that comes with your control. Never forget that.

Now, all this might be based on bogus psychology or neuroscience, but it works. Really well. And it doesn’t involve some “turn yourself over to a higher power” mumbo-jumbo. If anything, it’s a bit disturbingly Nietzschean.

I have come across this before in this work by Baummeister. It is a real phenomenon and one to consider: pace your resistance moments accordingly.

I learned the hard way that making any purchase without just sitting and thinking about it for a few minutes is a terrible idea.

A pack of gum is not a bad idea, but a house or vehicle purchase made under stress or hurried is always bad.

Currently I’m searching for my dream truck. A 1973-1978 model Chevrolet 1/2 ton pickup. I have to remind myself that these trucks are a dime a dozen and not to get pressured or sped into anything.

Slow down, think, and you’re self control muscle will beef up.

Thank you for posting this. It is very important info for me right now in my life, too.

Great post. I must have known this intuitively because I’ve found that working on exercising greater self control in one area of life usually spills over into other areas. For example, a while back I spent a year eating no candy or chocolate. As I got better at that, it became easier to exercise self-control in other areas because I had built up a greater reserve. This can be used even in areas where you don’t feel the need to improve. Just start exercising greater self-control and you’ll find you get better at it in other, more important, areas of life.

Keeping any promise to yourself is strengthening and builds self-esteem.

I had to deal with self control issues when buying high priced tech toys. My new rule now is to “sleep on it” before making any big purchases.

I get that “need-to-have-it” feeling that’s hard to fight.